Needing and Loving Well (Items 3 & 4)
If you missed Part 1 of this three-part series inspired by David Brooks’ article in the New York Times, you can read it for free at: https://timhudson.substack.com/p/the-moral-bucket-list.
What really caught my attention in David Brooks’ article was his distinction between “Resume Virtues”—the skills and achievements we put on our professional profiles—and “Eulogy Virtues,” those deeper qualities of character like kindness, integrity, and love that we hope people remember about us when we’re gone. That distinction struck me as not just truthful, but genuinely helpful. Brooks’ moral bucket list is all about cultivating eulogy virtues, and he outlines six steps for shaping them.
And one quick update before we move on: last week, I said that Brooks was an atheist, but thanks to a sharp-eyed subscriber, I’ve since learned that he’s now a Christian. Honestly, I wasn’t too surprised—his approach to a moral life fit so well with a deeply Christian understanding of a life well lived. Brooks’ faith journey deserves more than just a passing mention. Look for a coda at the end of this series about Brooks himself.
Now, let’s look at items 3 and 4 on Brooks’ moral bucket list: the dependency leap and the energizing power of love.
3. The Dependency Leap — or, Life in the Body of Christ
The dependency leap, as Brooks describes it, is about moving from self-reliance to truly leaning on others. After we’re humbled and have faced defeat, he says that real growth happens when we recognize that we all need outside help— “redemptive assistance.” Learning to accept help with grace and to offer help with humility slowly transforms us from rugged individualists into deeply interconnected people. Brooks believes that character is defined by how deeply we are rooted in one another
“Character is defined by how deeply rooted you are.”
The “rootedness” Brooks highlights is fulfilled in abiding in Christ—union with God through grace:
“I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.” (John 15:5)
” Now you are the body of Christ, and each one of you is a part of it” (1 Cor. 12:27).
There are no spiritual freelancers in the Kingdom of God. We belong to one another.
As I get older, I realize increasingly how much I value community. It’s one of the reasons Anglicanism’s emphasis on the sacredness of community resonates with me so deeply. We’re not just saved from something, but into a people, a story, a mission—and that’s at the heart of transformation and the Gospel itself
Brooks sees the truth that personal growth requires relationship. The Gospel tells us the “why” of this truth: we are relational because God is relational—the Triune God who is Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. Our interdependency isn’t a flaw. It’s part of our design. And moral maturity means embracing that we need each other, not denying it. The self made person is a tragic myth of our society.
4. Energizing Love — or, Agape as Vocation
When Brooks talks about the people he most admires, he isn't describing folks who are just nice or polite—he sees in them a deep, overflowing love and joy that’s hard to miss. This isn’t just sentimental feeling, but a kind of love that’s active, intentional, and shows up in devoted relationships, meaningful work, and standing up for those who are mistreated. You notice it because it’s like an inner light—something that radiates out and energizes everyone around them.
For me, this description resonates profoundly with the heart of Christian faith.
“We love because he first loved us.” (1 John 4:19)
“The love of Christ compels us.” (2 Corinthians 5:14)
“The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace…” (Galatians 5:22)
Christian love is not exhausted with sentimentality; It is energized when we choose to love sacrificially. We love as Jesus loved, laying down our lives for friends, neighbors, even enemies.
This love—the kind that’s at the core of Christian life—isn’t just a fleeting emotion or surface-level kindness. It’s agape: a cruciform, sacrificial love, shaped by the cross, that seeks the good of others whether they return it or not. It’s the fulfillment of the law, the real substance behind discipleship, and the force that propels justice and mercy into the world.
I’m also reminded that loving this way isn’t something we can manufacture ourselves. Gospel love is something God pours into us, a gift of the Spirit that energizes our actions. We don’t just muster it up—we receive it, and as we are loved, so we become loving. Brooks is right: love doesn’t just feel good, it’s what empowers moral transformation
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In next week’s post, we’ll explore Brooks’ next two moral milestones: the call within the call and the conscience leap. Both resonate strongly with my understanding of life in the Body of Christ. Stay tuned.